The Bovine Rectal Lab

Caution: not for the faint of stomach!


Yes, we finally had The Bovine Rectal Lab.

Yes, it smelled really bad. No, an hourlong shower didn't completely remove the smell, but that's kind of a cow thing. It just sticks.

But with the exception of the weather and the miracle of peristalsis, it WAS pretty fun :)

It was definitely like playing James Herriot. The weather even cooperated... 45 degrees, cold driving rain and even a hailstorm, in a mostly open barn. In short sleeves. I suddenly have a renewed appreciation for all those chapters of Herriot sweating it out in a barn on a distant hilltop in the middle of February, trying to correct a malpositioned calf... because just checking the rectum in a barn in October was pretty taxing. The man's arms must have been made of steel. All those "circular and longitudinal" muscle layers of the large intestine we learned about made themselves startlingly clear when they were trying to expel appendages... you start to feel your fingers tingle after a while and then it's time to go.

The amount of anatomy you can check out with the rectal exam is pretty neat though. You can feel fetuses (all of our cows were pregnant), kidneys, hip bones, and the abdominal aorta has a pulse so strong it goes around your entire hand. To the farmer, this exam covers all the important stuff- the digestive system and the reproductive tract. And the cows don't object much, other than the whole peristalsis deal... probably not the best part of their day but they tolerate it much better than horses, who can actually die pretty easily if a rectal exam is done clumsily. (Ok, horses die pretty easily as a general rule. But damaging the membranes of the rectum and unleashing infection into their abdomen is a shortcut.)

We also milked the cows enough to perform a California Mastitis Test, which checks for infection in the teats. So I got to milk a cow today too! :) I'd be happier if it didn't put my head in such a compromising position near the feet, but again, cows are mercifully peaceful and nobody decided to kick. Besides renewing my Herriot appreciation in this cow lab, I also have a new respect for old-school hand milkers... because at the rate that stuff was coming out, it'd take a looooong time to fill one of those old milk cans!

And yes, I got pictures. Because whether or not you admit it, you all want to see it... it's like a requirement to be an official vet/vet tech student, to have a cow rectal picture. So here you go...

Before....

And after!



Good times all around... now for another shower...